Procrastination central

Still living with ambiguity.  Still finding it tough. Procrastinating about lots of things since feel like I'm not certain of anything.

But I have been doing some yoga and lots of walking.

And I am bored with my knitting. I am knitting the Camber cardigan in Madelinetosh Sock on small needles and the exciting lace bit is over.  I'm left with the stocking stitch. I do like stocking stitch,  but as it's knit in one piece there are lots of stitches and it doesn't seem to be growing very quickly. I started it in Bali and knitted it whilst looking at this view:

My living room does not hold the same appeal!

I NEED some instant gratification.  Maybe I could cast on something quick - like a shawl.  An Ishbel would be quick wouldn't it?  It could be a teachers present for the end of term so then I wouldn't feel guilty. Something a bit more interesting that plain old stocking stitch.

Todays quote:

"Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Do not let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity."  RI Fitzhenry

At a crossroads.

Life is fascinating.  At times events converge which make you look at where you are and force you to decide where to go.  It isn't very comfortable.  It isn't easy.  And at times I want to bury my head under the duvet and deny anything is happening or changing. But life does.  All the time.

The kids are getting older and I am ready for a new phase in my life.  I'm not sure if it will be continuing with my studies or getting a job or starting a business.  But I need some purpose now the girls are at school and becoming more independent each day.

I was a bright young thing, ambitious and up for a challenge.  Now I am...older and have different priorities but want to reclaim some of the me I used to be before children.  Know the feeling?  How did you do it?  I'm dying to hear.

At times like this my favourite quote comes to mind:

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Do not search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live with them. And the point is to live everything. Live the question now. Perhaps then, some day in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." Rainer Maria Rilke

But baby steps have to be taken and this week mine include:

• Complete my finished jumper by steeking the arm and sewing the whole thing up,
• Sew up my blanket cardigan,
• Do some yoga every day - even if it's only 5 minutes
• Walk for an hour EVERY day
• Get my CV together

What are yours?