What's in my head today?

Ok, so the photo challenge stalled because I went on holiday to Chiang Mai.  So I'm going to restart.  I did knit though.  I made kidsilk haze dresses for a Blythe doll and a Pullip doll.  And more hexagons for my blanket. Mostly I hung out with hubby and kids.

Now the holiday is over, and these are the things on my mind:

• My mum arrives in 15 days (lovely but have so much to do!)
• I haven't finished the Christmas shopping or Christmas knitting or ordered Christmas cards yet,
• I have signed up for Write a Novel in a Month which started today - only 50,000 words to go,
• Hubby is not so well, so having to be patient and lovely (not always easy when you feel like shouting that he could do more to look after himself and I am not a nurse),
• I need to exercise more - managed to fit in a 6k walk this morning but now need a lie down,
• Network, network, network, so I can return to work (very scary after 10 years and don't have a thing to wear,
• what to wear to the network, network, network thing (first one is next Wednesday morning - help),
• Getting the Christmas cards sorted
• Committing to buying no more yarn until 2013 - want to, maybe I should start this today?
• Need to study to get ahead of my course - no excuse not to except all this stuff above.

So not much going on here as you can see.  I will take photos of my FO's and post next time.

Hope your list is smaller than mine

30 day Photo Challenge

Emily (aged 7) and I have decided to do the 30 day photo challenge. Not sure how this will work, but stick with us.

Day 1 - self portrait

What happened to fearless?

I have been knitting for a long time.  When I was a teenager I sewed my own clothes, including my school skirt, and knit my own jumpers.  I once went to a wool party (yes they existed) and bought some icelandic lopi wool.  By the end of the weekend my dad had a bottle green yoked sweater with grey and red colour work around the yoke and cuffs.  Just like that.

The LYS sold Phildar.  I thought nothing of taking on complex lace jumpers in lace patterns with unusual shaping.  I remember the beige and brown lace sweater knit in mohair, silk and something else.  It had a scoop neck and a rib collar.  It was beautiful.  I didn't consider that I couldn't do it. A lot of that Phildar yarn was very fine - never put me off.  Sometime things were a disaster - the pink and purple star yoked  sweater would have fit a yeti - I never worried about gauge.   But I wore the thing anyway, with pride.  (It looked amazing with the stripey dungarees I made and the red suede fringed ankle boots).

Now, I look at patterns and think that maybe I would never finish the colour work or lace jumper.  Or I question whether I have the skills.

May good things come with age - but becoming fearful is not one of them.

Ice, Ice baby

That's what I need, ice.  Or something to stop the hot flushes.  The soya, and walking are not working at the moment.

Does you think ice in a G&T would do the trick?

There is always a silver lining

There is always a silver lining even when your whole house has come down with a coldy like flu bug thing.  And the lining is.....

Lemon bars because  have vitamin C in them.

And some knitting

I have wanted to knit this such a long time and had the yarn all ready. It's the Earth Stripe Wrap from Rowan by the lovely Kaffe Fassett. It feels amazing and looks so pretty.

And this little beauty if for daughter number one who has an obsession with hoodies, and her Thesaurus at the moment. It's the lovely (Get-of-my) Cloud. I'm a little concerned about the size of it right now - I got gauge but it's looking small.  I remember when my camber cardigan was blocked it grew a bit, so I'm hoping the same happens here.

Now, who has got the tissues?

Christmas is coming.

I am currently thinking about Christmas.  Not just Christmas but more specifically presents and Christmas knitting.

I have already knitted the la-luz-eye-mask in Debbie Bliss Silk but I haven't sewn it up yet or added the insert.  It really is a quick knit - one day and you're done. This seems like a good one - quick, doesn't take up much time and feels luxurious. On the down side -it doesn't look very impressive though, so I'd have to do some kind of embellishment and these gifts are mostly going to the UK and these will be heavy to post.

Then I have completed the High Line Wrap  for a friend who loves red. She tends to get a new red scarf or accessory every year and hasn't complained yet.  She's an artsy kind of girl so something oversize fits in with her style pretty well.  Plus she has two dogs that need walking in all weather, so hoping I can't go wrong. I used Debbie Bliss Donegal Tweed and it has worked out really well.  It's blocking at the moment. I'm not used to thick yarns and big needles but at least if flew off the needles.

My mum put in requests for gloves and a hat last year and also ended up with another set I made for myself to go to Japan.  She hasn't mentioned anything yet - but watch this space.

I'm also going to make some padded coat hangers for people.  One of my friends is getting married in March and so a beautiful hanger covered in silk and lace sounds like just the thing for her wedding dress to hang on.  I bought a deep maroon red, a blue and also lilac silk to make them.  I have looked everywhere for the plain wooden hangers to make them bu the hanger world has become far too sophisticated.  They all have trouser rails attached or are rather fancy plastic things.

So I ventured into Mustafa's a store which has everything and is open 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year. Well, it has most thing you can think of and some you could never have imagined if you tried.  It is a place to go when you have sharpened your elbows and are ready for a sensory onslaught. Never, never go on a Sunday because all the foreign workers in Singapore go there and you literally queue to get down the aisles.  They sell jeans - hundreds and hundreds of pairs stacked shoulder high and you sort through them to find your size - you may never be seen again. Did they have simple wooden hangers?  No, they did not. So I bought the ones with trouser rails and pulled the rails off.  What I did find was some Thornton's Toffee, which is not available in Singapore.  And it was only 50 cents.  That's because  when I opened it it's actually Thornton's fudge. Now my husband prefers the toffee and the kids prefer the fudge - so the bag was right and the fudge was right - can I call this a win-win?

That's as far as my plan have got. Not too bad. But remember, there are only 93 sleeps til Christmas.

Me and My Menopause

There has bee a hyatus over here.  In that time I have established that I am officially in the menopause.  Yes, officially - not just guessing but confirmed by a medical professional. I had kind of guessed.  How sweats, insomnia and crabiness are sure signs, although living in Singapore and having kids it isn't always obvious, it could just be a particularly humid day and the kids are giving you a hard time.

My mother, always the optimist sent me a wonderful article from the newspaper about people who's marriages had failed as a result of the menopause.  She didn't understand why this was not helpful. 

I have explained to my almost 11 year old daughter that she is reaching puberty.  Her hormones are kicking in and she is undergoing changes.  I have also explained that as her system is revving up, mine is shutting down.  This is nature having a laugh.  As she becomes more attractive, voluptuous and reaches her fertile prime, I will be becoming less attractive (more sweaty for sure), less voluptuous (everything heading south) and my fertility will hit zero.  The symptoms to get to our destinations have some similarity - mood swings, general stroppiness and wondering who the hell we are and what our purpose in life is.  I fear clashes along the way.  It may be me behaving like a stroppy teenager.

My DH hasn't really got  handle on this stuff.  I have told him what the doc said.  I've explained the sweats and the moodiness.  Mostly he's concerned with why I am tired.  And why I'm ratty.  I'm chipping away - bit by bit.  Today he sent me this:

Seems he may be getting it.

So I'm walking/running for 60 mins as many times a week as I can.  I'm eating/drinking soya.  And as my doc suggested, I'm "sucking it up".

Procrastination central

Still living with ambiguity.  Still finding it tough. Procrastinating about lots of things since feel like I'm not certain of anything.

But I have been doing some yoga and lots of walking.

And I am bored with my knitting. I am knitting the Camber cardigan in Madelinetosh Sock on small needles and the exciting lace bit is over.  I'm left with the stocking stitch. I do like stocking stitch,  but as it's knit in one piece there are lots of stitches and it doesn't seem to be growing very quickly. I started it in Bali and knitted it whilst looking at this view:

My living room does not hold the same appeal!

I NEED some instant gratification.  Maybe I could cast on something quick - like a shawl.  An Ishbel would be quick wouldn't it?  It could be a teachers present for the end of term so then I wouldn't feel guilty. Something a bit more interesting that plain old stocking stitch.

Todays quote:

"Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Do not let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity."  RI Fitzhenry

At a crossroads.

Life is fascinating.  At times events converge which make you look at where you are and force you to decide where to go.  It isn't very comfortable.  It isn't easy.  And at times I want to bury my head under the duvet and deny anything is happening or changing. But life does.  All the time.

The kids are getting older and I am ready for a new phase in my life.  I'm not sure if it will be continuing with my studies or getting a job or starting a business.  But I need some purpose now the girls are at school and becoming more independent each day.

I was a bright young thing, ambitious and up for a challenge.  Now I am...older and have different priorities but want to reclaim some of the me I used to be before children.  Know the feeling?  How did you do it?  I'm dying to hear.

At times like this my favourite quote comes to mind:

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Do not search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live with them. And the point is to live everything. Live the question now. Perhaps then, some day in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." Rainer Maria Rilke

But baby steps have to be taken and this week mine include:

• Complete my finished jumper by steeking the arm and sewing the whole thing up,
• Sew up my blanket cardigan,
• Do some yoga every day - even if it's only 5 minutes
• Walk for an hour EVERY day
• Get my CV together

What are yours?